


Karkat's Night Thunder

by CasFics, emissaryofrainbows



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eproctophilia, Fart Fetish, Farting, Fetish, Hyper Farts, M/M, Smell Fetish, shameless fetish fuel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 16:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasFics/pseuds/CasFics, https://archiveofourown.org/users/emissaryofrainbows/pseuds/emissaryofrainbows
Summary: This story takes place in the Homestuck epilogue, or at least an epilogue-style scenario in which Dave and Karkat are dating. Of course, they can't be in a long-time relationship without knowing what they're like in bed. And by that I mean, literally how they sleep. Dave doesn't want to date a blanket hog, after all.It turns out that things are worse than Dave imagined. Not only does Karkat get a bad case of gas while he's sleeping, but his farts so powerful that they almost knock him clean off the bed. Can Dave endure Karkat's horrible ass gas until sunrise? Spoilers: he can't.





	Karkat's Night Thunder

Dave and Karkat had been dating for several months, and although they had “slept together” numerous times, they had yet to sleep together in the literal sense. They decided that it was vital to their relationship that they know how they behaved in bed, lest one of them end up married to a serial kicker, sleepwalker or blanket hog. Since trolls didn’t actually sleep in traditional beds, it was all the more important to put his nighttime behavior to the test.

Dave and Karkat plopped themselves down on Dave’s shabby twin bed which was just barely big enough for the two of them. Karkat tried to ignore the posters and the katana on Dave’s walls. Even as an adult, Dave considered the things hanging from the walls of his childhood bedroom to be the nadir of cool. 

First Dave removed his sunglasses, placing them on his nightstand. Even in the dark, Dave’s red eyes radiated, and were hard for Karkat to look away from like they had some sort of hypnotic property. The pair laid on their sides, scrambling to find the most comfortable position. Once the ideal posture was discovered, and their pillows flipped over to the cool side, Dave wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, pulling him close so his back pressed against his chest. With the big and little spoon established, and a half-hearted muttered from the both of them, they began to drift off to sleep.

It turns out it wasn’t soon before Dave’s light slumbering came to an abrupt close, some sort of unidentifiable background noise was interrupting his sleep as usual, it was just like every night since he’d moved in. Though to his surprise it was different from the “normal” booming that echoed through the halls, it was low, purring and much closer..

“God damnit, I swear to god if you’re a yawner I’m gonna go sleep on the couch or some shit.” Dave mumbled to himself in a perfectly audible voice, he knew Karkat wouldn’t wake unless he slapped him around the face, because apparently he’d never woken to the “night thunder” as Jade so affectionately called it.

“Wait, what the fuck?” Not bothering to grab his sunglasses he inspected closer, and his boyfriend’s mouth wasn’t moving an inch- the constant, deep grumbling was coming from his stomach, as if there were an angry beast trapped inside. It wasn’t like they hadn’t eaten much today either, but regardless Karkat’s stomach wouldn’t stop rumbling! It actually sounded like it was getting even louder every second he stared at the peacefully slumbering troll.

fflLLRRRRRRBBBPPPPPPpppPpbblllLLLRRRAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBPPPPTTTTTTTT!!!!

To call the fart that roared from Karkat’s backside “huge” would be doing a disservice to how truly enormous it was. Were it not for the smell making it unmistakably clear what was going on, Dave would’ve assumed that he was caught in the middle of a hurricane and an earthquake simultaneously.  
A warm jet of air erupted from Karkat’s yawning asshole with enough force to make their blanket flutter. Dave could feel the incredibly powerful gas being blasted against his crotch, which was at most millimeters away from the offending asshole at the time. He clutched his arms around Karkat’s torso for dear life, just to keep his boyfriend’s fart from knocking him clean off the bed. His flatulence was so powerful and far-reaching that it knocked Dave’s glasses off the table after causing the lenses to fog.

Dave’s ruby red eyes widened with disbelief as Karkat’s mega-fart tapered off after ten non-stop seconds of awe-inspiring anal assault. The sheets stopped billowing like a sail in a windstorm, and Dave’s katana stopped swinging back and forth like it was threatening to fall.

The temperature of the entire room raised by a degree or two, and there wasn’t a single corner nor nook nor cranny that didn’t reek of Karkat’s ass fumes. After the booming blast that sounded like thunder subsided, the room returned to relative silence. Dave left stunned, as he contemplated what had just occurred. Either he was having the world’s weirdest nightmare, or he and his boyfriend needed to have a serious talk. 

Blinking his eyes a few times Dave tried to piece together what just happened in the cognitive haze brought about by the gas that was still steaming from Karkat’s rear like a bomb had just gone off in his face, but no matter what he couldn’t come up with any crackpot theories or any possible explanation for the inhuman ripper that had turned his room into a stench-ridden hotbox beyond just a really bad case of gas. He’d have to try and remember what they’d eaten once he woke up tomorrow, right now he just wanted to go back to sleep, after all, there was no way Karkat could have more fart fuel in him after that, he was pretty sure he just broke like 18 different world records at once.

He coughed up any rancid gas he’d managed to breathe in while his jaw was hitting the floor before sighing and cuddling back up with his boyfriend. After that exchange he’d rather be the little spoon from now on, but it was only a one time thing before he cut out whatever had caused such a horrible outburst out of Kar’s diet, he could deal with the noxious smell for at least one night.

BbbbBBBBRRRrrrrrooooOOMMPPPPFFBBTTTTTT!!!

GgGGRRMMmmbbrrrfffttTTTTT! BbbBBBRRAABBPPTT!!

It had barely been 5 minutes and Dave was rattled from his sleep once more with a start as three titanic farts belted from Karkat’s sleeping self in quick succession, the farts themselves were inhumanly long, each one lasting longer than he could count, but there was almost no rest or time to breathe between each one. He could feel the very bed he was sleeping on shaking from the sheer force of his butt-bombs, it was like they were rocking his entire world.

Dave wasn’t sure what to do. Should he wake his lover to inform him that he was spewing death and destruction from his hindquarters, and maybe ask what the hell was going on? Dave had encountered a sleep-deprived Karkat once before, and he was quite a force to be reckoned with. Though his reaction then had been dire, if he had to choose between that and the nightmare that was coming from Karkat’s ass...it wasn’t exactly a difficult decision to make.

“Yo, wake up,” Dave said, giving Karkat’s shoulder a forceful shove. This earned only some small shifting from Karkat’s body and a barely audible mutter. If he could drop bombs like that without waking himself up, he must’ve been a pretty heavy sleeper.

“Karkat, seriously,” he said, a bit louder this time while prodding Karkat’s cheek. The troll still refused to wake up from his slumber. Dave sighed. The lingering fumes still burned his nostrils with every breath he took. 

It occured to Dave that he had never witnessed Karkat pass gas a single time before today. Did he hold in all of his farts during the day out of respect for everyone around him, only to unleash them at night in the form of devastating built-up blasts? Karkat wasn’t exactly the type to restrain himself though, as his manner of speaking more than proved. 

There was a brief lull where Karkat’s ass was silent. Dave foolishly let him believe that the worst of it was over, that Karkat had already expelled all of the excess gas from his body. If only Dave knew what he was in for. He let himself get comfortable again, pulling his lover close to his chest. Devastating mega-farts aside, cuddling with Karkat had been an enjoyable experience. He was the perfect size to be Dave’s little spoon, just short enough that his hair wouldn’t get in Dave’s mouth while they slept. He radiated a comfortable warmth too, and although he wasn’t exactly fat, his body did have a certain softness that felt nice to rub up against. It was as though Karkat had been designed specifically for the purpose of being snuggled by Dave. It was just a shame about the...you know. 

Just as Dave was beginning to forget about Karkat’s little issue he was given a chilling reminder. 

GrrRrrOooOOOooRrrrrrr

The rumbling that proceeded Karkat’s next butt bombardement alone was enough to make the bed shake. There was no telling what his next fart would be like, or what damage it was liable to cause.  
Dave was almost tempted to time travel out of there, anything that would let him avoid whatever the chaotic aftermath of this ominous roaring from his stomach was, but he’d sworn off it, he couldn’t go back to convoluted time loops again, but it wasn’t like he could fly away in time either, he was wrapped around Karkat like a burrito and nothing short of throwing him off the bed would get him out of the window in time, and as much as he LOATHED the god awful smell of his seemingly endless supply of downright toxic gas, he didn’t want to risk knocking out his tooth or even worse. All he could do was hold is breath, as disgusting as it was to taste the horrible cocktail of scents brewed up in the air already, he had a feeling it was going to get much worse in a few seconds.

BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRRTTTTT!!!!

Fuck, Dave immediately regretted not knocking out Karkat’s pearly whites at a chance of escaping the indescribable horrors that erupted from his trembling behind; his hyper fart hit him like a literal ton of bricks, no matter how hard he held on there was no way he could stop himself from being jettisoned off the bed like a limp ragdoll before crashing into the wall and thumping to the floor. When he finally looked up he saw the entire room was cast into disarray, the place was a hurricane of furniture, bedsheets and Dave’s weird paraphernalia being thrown around recklessly by Karkat’s unending fart, and as it continued it suddenly ramped up in power and totally shattered their window like as if it were made of sugar glass.

The sound was ear-shattering, all Dave could hear was destruction and the booming cacophony of the ripper, he was having even more trouble with the increasing heat, every few seconds it felt like he was wearing another layer of clothing, if he wasn’t so paralyzed by the whole situation he’d be stripping himself down and letting his clothes be torn apart by the windstorm coming from Karkat’s gut; he thought the window shattering would help, but he was simply farting too much for the airflow to make the slightest difference, even Karkat mumbled in his sleep and bit his lip a little.

He could hardly even tell when he was passing out, the fart fog that built up in the room was so thick that the dark brown haze and the closing of his eyelids was almost a seamless transition.

“How-how long was I out for?” was the first thing Dave said upon waking, rubbing his eyes. Judging by the sunlight streaming through his fogged-up windows, he had gotten a full night’s sleep after all.

The awful odor still lingered in the air, as Dave’s room wasn’t particularly well ventilated. It had still become somewhat less potent over the hours, so it wasn’t about to knock Dave unconscious again anytime soon. It was still enough to make him think very, very carefully each time he inhaled. He looked down at Karkat, who was still nestled comfortably against him. He watched as his eyes fluttered awake, and the troll greeted the new day with a yawn.

“GOOD MORNING, DAVE.” Karkat said. Though his voice was as loud as ever, his town was less abrasive than usual. 

“Dude. Do you not remember what happened last night?” Dave said. He wasn’t going to bother beating around the bush. 

Karkat squirmed uncomfortably in Dave’s grasp. He could even feel his heet rising as blood rushed to his cheeks. 

“I’M SORRY. I REALLY SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU,” Karkat said. The boisterous troll’s voice was reduced to a whisper, or at least the Karkat version of a whisper, which was still pretty loud.

“IT’S NEVER BEEN THIS BAD BEFORE. I HOPE YOU’RE NOT MAD.”

“I’m not mad as much as I am. Like. Fascinated,” Dave said. “Like. How does all that fart fit into a Karkat-sized package? Is this just some weird troll thing? Does Kanaya also rip ass like a stallion with irritable bowel syndrome? Should I warn John to stop hanging out with Vriska so she doesn’t butt-blast him into orbit?”

“I DON’T KNOW ABOUT KANAYA. BUT PRODUCING THAT MUCH GAS IS A PRETTY NORMAL THING FOR TROLLS.”

Dave sighed. This would take some getting used to, but if it meant staying with Karkat, he would at least be willing to try. He was pretty sure he had a gas mask somewhere in his closet, but he should probably buy a few nose pins too just to be safe.

“Maybe we could use that buttplug,” Dave suggested. 

“IT’LL EITHER MAKE ME EXPLODE OR IT’LL GO SHOOTING OUT OF MY ASS AND THROUGH YOUR WALL.”

“We’ll figure something out,” I guess. 

Not quite ready to start the day just yet, the two boys nuzzled against each other, Dave planting a small kiss on the back of his stinky lover’s neck. The two’s intimacy was interrupted by a familiar female voice and the sound of Dave’s door swinging open. 

“Ugh, what’s that smell?” Jade Harley said, sniffing the air with her nose wrinkled in disgust. As bad as Karkat’s lingering stench was for Dave, it was even worse for the girl with the enhanced canine sense of smell. “And why is there a sword lodged in the wall?”

“I can explain,” Dave said, releasing his grip on Karkat and turning to face Jade, the third participant in their little love-triangle. “But first, on a scale of one to willing to get blasted in the face with farts that smell like death and hit with the force of a nuclear bomb, how much do you love me and Karkat?”


End file.
